I think the Lord is trying to teach me something… test or punish, not quite sure which. Or maybe just teach me patience and priorities.
Deut 5:7 “You shall have no other gods before me.”
Deut 5:21 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife. You shall not set your desire on your neighbor’s house or land, his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”
This may seem incredibly weird… but yeah, the Lord is definitely telling me those two commandments are where I fall very short… but I pray that by His grace He will show me how to deal. How to not want what other have, no matter how close to my heart that thing lies. I have prayed that He will still the desires of my heart until such time as it is appropriate or “right time”. I need His grace to help me not be angry about it, about the fact that I cannot have that which I desire so much right now. But I also know that He wants me to put Him front and centre of my life before He allows such blessings. I believe that maybe one day He will bless me in this way, but I suppose His timing is not my timing. My timing was withing the next 5 to 8 years, but its would seem that He has lead us in another way. Even if it pains me, or if I am not happy with His decision, I am His child and as such I will follow His lead.
This may all seem very weird to you, but I needed to blog about this because it will keep me accountable to what I have to do. This way it is out in public, and I have no choice but to comply. Now on to the rest of my life, as God wills it.
(I just realised that this post must seem a bit involuntary… and in a way it is, my own desires are not what I wrote here… but this is what the Lord wills… and I am trying to conform my heart to that…)