Let him lead

29 Aug


I’m sure I am not alone when I say I struggle to let my husband lead and be the head of our home. I’m certain I’m not the only one who tries to grab the reins and do it all myself. I’m sure I’m not the only woman who has been frustrated by the leadership and submission roles.

Knowing this, I have some ideas I would like to throw out there, and hope you agree or have other tips. I have to admit that I am a very strong willed and opinionated woman, and I love being in control. Being out of control scares me to death. Therefore, I am no expert on this topic, or can I say I have the perfect marriage. What I can say is that because God is good, my marriage is still standing, and I would like to share what I have learnt.

* Men are created to be the leaders and head of the homes, as Christ was head of the church. This means that its their God given role, one we cannot ignore or treat lightly. They are to protect us and sacrificially love us.
* Regardless whether we as wives submit, our husbands are to love us, and lead. They are not to do this leading by force, but obviously lovingly. But does it not make it so much easier and less hostile if we submit to their leadership?
* Another thing I have realised is how many men become passive because their wives are too domineering and controlling. They find it easier to shut off and up than to take the lead. How sad! As I learned again at dancing, all the wife needs to do is follow, then the dance will go smoothly. However, if we try to lead or control the dance, it flops, and we both fall over our feet. Should we not also in life then follow the lead our husbands set, since that is the role they have been given and as such things will go so much easier once we do that.
* We need to encourage our husbands to lead. Especially when men are passive, nagging, and pestering them to be leaders is not helpful. Rather encourage him by complimenting his achievements, and the small things he does for you. This will help him to feel more needed and also more appreciated. No one wants to lead if they aren’t appreciated.

I hope this has made you think more about the kind of wife you are, and about thinking twice before you nag or try to take control. Let me know your thoughts and any other tips on how we as wives can encourage our husbands to be godly leaders.


3 Responses to “Let him lead”

  1. Joanne August 30, 2009 at 22:44 #

    Hi I just happened on your blog and read this entry with interest.

    Letting you husband do all the leading is nice in concept, but I wonder what happens if he’s a really bad leader and is leading you directly off the edge of a cliff.

    Dancing and real life aren’t the same – in real life husband and wife should be equal partners.

    Besides, how fair is it to him that he has to make all the decisions? Of course, that way if he messes up, you have no responsibility.

  2. Lizanne August 31, 2009 at 09:08 #

    @Joanne I would suggest you read some more into my blog, and then you will understand more about the role of a husband in a godly marriage. If he does not lead the wife will not be able to submit, as God intended. Also maybe check out this posts: http://likeawarmcupofcoffee.blogspot.com/2009/05/submitting-to-sinner-gods-commands-dont.html

  3. Chris August 31, 2009 at 09:15 #

    Recently, I have made some incredibly stupid mistakes. During all of it, Liz prayed and submitted to decisions that really shouldn’t have happened, but biblically she was in the right.

    Men will very often make stupid mistakes. The bible calls women not to only submit when the decision is right, but also when the decision is wrong; because submission is to a person in authority and not the decisions they make. I may be an idiot sometimes, but it’s Liz’s quiet, submissive spirit that reminds me of what a godly person looks like.

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