Archive | Christian Wife RSS feed for this section

How your daughter dresses matters

30 Mar

I read most of my favourite blogs in Google reader – and today I noticed almost all of them had linked to this post. This mom has made a clear stand for modesty and how important it is to make sure girls/women dress appropriately. As a wife and mother of a son, I pray that women would learn this lesson – for the sake of their own virtue and that of my husband and son. Men don’t need to see every inch of skin. Really. Its hard enough for men with the media bombarding them, why must they see it in malls, work, school and sadly even church?

I hope that one day when I have a daughter, I will be able to be strong enough to model modesty to her, even if it means she’s not popular. Because my children are worth that.



18 Feb


As much as I love blogging and blog reading, I realised yesterday that its becoming an addiction/idol in my life. Therefore I will be blogging more sporadically and only reading a few blogs and then also for a few minutes a day. Its so much more important that I bless my son by spending time with him playing, and bless my husband by having a decent looking house when he comes home, so that I can spend time with him relaxing. I also realised that I spend more time online than I do with God, which is BAD. So I will be around, but not as often as I used to be. But please don’t stop reading, and please keep commenting!!


8 Feb

Its been 3 years and 2 months since I promised my life, my heart and my future to you.

Its been 3 years filled with tickling, breakfast-for-dinner, chocolate slabs, pillow fight-fights, talking teddies, sleep-conversations, dreaming, praying, developer juice, surprises, love, sleeping late, hugs, cuddling, kisses and dancing. Its also been 3 years of hard work, tears, heartbreak, sadness, wanting babies that didn’t come, growing-apart-growing-together, moving and sacrifices.

Then suddenly it changed, two became three within minutes with the skill of a doctors scalpel. The bed now has one more, one demanding, heart stealing, helpless, dependent little one. We wake at night from cries for feeds, we look tiredly at each other, knowing it will happen again and again.

Our time is not our own anymore, this third has stolen that, just as he stole our hearts. This third person we can’t help but love, even through the frustrated tears, the smelly nappies, the sleep deprivation. This third person we have been given, our miracle we wanted too much, the one God gave us to raise for Him.

I wake up early to get ready for the day, making you “developer juice” to stave off the sleep when you go to work for us, I dress myself, and prepare while you both sleep, so that I can do my work during the day. The work I prayed to be blessed with. I look at the two of you sleeping side by side, seeing you, the man who made this little person with me, this unexpected but never-unwanted miracle. My heart swells, it hurts with love, I love so much, two people I was made for. One to love, honour and obey, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, till death parts us. One to love, teach, cherish, grow, nourish, guide and pray for. Two people I could never leave, never forsake and never be without. My life would be emptiness, sadness and lonely meaninglessness without you.

I love you more today, seeing you with our son, seeing him smile at his daddy, knowing you, knowing you were there for him in the first hour of his precious life, when I could not. I love you more today than I did 3 years and 2 months ago, on that summers day under the big tree when we were so young and innocent and we promised each other the world, not knowing what it would take. I love you more today, knowing that you labour daily to provide for us, as God ordained, so that we can raise our son in His ways as He wills. I love you more today looking into the eyes of this tiny bundle of boy and seeing his utter trust and dependence on us, seeing the responsibility we have been given to grow him into a man of God, just like his daddy. I love you more today because you chose me, again and again, even when I am sick and fragile, and unable to be a wife. I love you more today, knowing the price we’ve paid to be here today, knowing the tears we’ve cried, and the prayers we’ve prayed, knowing the pain and frustration we’ve endured. I love you more today, knowing that with each day we will grow together, we will grow with the laughter and the tears of our son, we will grow with the love and commitment of our marriage, and we will one day go home and be together with the Father who grants us these things.

My thoughts for today

16 Nov

Yesterday I realised just how true the statement above is. I watched a video made by a friend of Chris’s for his job as a game reviewer, and in the middle of an unrelated clip, the editor had seen fit to throw in a random pair of breasts. It was unnecessary… just as the hundreds of scantily clad women gracing the covers of men’s magazines, and random videos are not really necessary.

Where are the days when women were admired for their elegance, sophistication, style and femininity? Where are the days where instead of ogling half-naked women, men pursued women by charming them with their chivalry and gentility?
Why does our society deem it appropriate to objectify women, and make them s3x symbols? When are we going to take a stand on this?

I am not speaking only as a Christian, but as a women, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a wife, a mother… I don’t want my father, brother, friends, husband or son having this view of women. There should be a respect for women, for their femininity, for their grace… but more specifically women should respect themselves enough to stand up and be feminine and graceful… without dressing prudish, but maintaining an air of mystery.

Men are designed to pursue us, and whats the point when we hand it to them on a platter – our mysteries: physical and emotional. We have no qualms about sharing our bodies with their eyes, whether in low, revealing outfits or tight-painted-on ones. Neither do we seem to see the value of keeping our secrets and our inmost thoughts to ourselves, to share one day with our husbands. By the time a women gets married nowadays, half the male population has either slept with her, or seen almost all of her body, or knows all her thoughts. This is thanks to social networks in part, but mostly the fact that we see nothing as sacred anymore. Our bodies are nothing more than instruments to get as much attention from men as possible.

Some people blame the men, saying they should control their eyes and their thoughts, and yes, they should. But they were designed to be attracted to us, to enjoy the female form… in marriage, and then only their wives. The responsibility does not rest solely on them. We have the responsibility to stand up and fight for sacred femininity, and the grace and elegance that women inherently have. That which really attracts men, that which was given to us for our husbands enjoyment, so we can be helpers and companions to them. Not so that all the world can see our bodies, or our minds, but so that we portray that mystery that we were
intended to.

I am deeply saddened when I see young women walking around malls dressed in skimpy outfits, leaving nothing to the imagination; it saddens me when I see the men around stare at them, and for all the wrong reasons. Have we lost all our self respect? Have we totally lost the desire to be wanted for our charm and grace, as opposed to the shape of our breasts? Why should godly men have to “bounce” their eyes whenever they walk in public, because of all the skin thats shown… for fear that they stumble, or be seen as perverts. Why do men get called perverts when its exactly what we’re asking for when we walk around in our skin tight, low, revealing outfits?

I think its time for women to take a hard look at ourselves and make a change, and decide to be more Audrey Hepburn, with elegance, grace and class, and less like a Victoria’s Secrets model, handing all mystery to the world on a tarnished platter.

Why I am a Stay At Home Mom

3 Sep


I guess I always knew I would stay home with my kids, my mom did it and it only seemed right. My reasoning originally was that its cruel to have kids and drop them off at a day care to be looked after by strangers. But after much research, prayer, talking to other moms and listening to Pastor Mark Driscoll, we have been convinced and convicted that this is what God wants us to do.

“Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”
Titus 2:4-5

As women, we are called to the ministry and job of raising and teaching our kids and making a home for our families as well as being helpers to our husbands. Just as men are called to lead and be the providers, we are called to be home makers. The Proverbs 31 woman (considered the model of a godly woman) is said to be called blessed by her husband and children, as she provides food, clothing, a clean and organised home and many other things. An interesting thing though, she does not necessarily provide nothing financially, she “works” from home (vs 16 and 24):

“She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard”

“She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.”

So there’s nothing stopping women from “working” but just from home. I must be honest that’s something I plan to do, with my make up and some crafts and sewing but I have yet to really get stuck in it (at 6 months pregnant though, its a bit harder than I though it would be to start a business up).

I will add now that if you have NO other option, like if you’re the sole bread winner or something (other than his own heart) is preventing your husband from being the provider, then of course, you have to work. But then if you can work from home at least mostly, then do it. I know I must seem mad, but Chris and I just said, there is NO way that we can hand our kids to someone else to raise, and then still pay for formula and nappies and day care and the extra medical bills that come with kid being in creche. There was no question, we have prayed about it, and the Lord has provided. You’d be amazed at how He provides when you let Him. This is our first month without my salary, but we have more than enough money to make it through. Yes, our budget got a bit cut, but all in all its worth it; Chris gets decent supper, and lunch, and I am not so tired that I can’t talk to him or spend time with him at night, so he can relax too. The house is clean, and I am way more relaxed and have time to make things for the house and baby, which in turn saves us A LOT of money. Its really worth checking what you would be able to save on, or live without when you don’t work. We save tons on petrol now as I don’t travel to work, and we save on “junk food” because I can make lunch and supper everyday. We don’t need a maid, as I do it. I don’t need to buy bedding, clothes and accessories for Elijah, because I am home to make all that stuff. The list goes on.

I’m not saying everyone can do this, but I do feel, as we’re called to be homemakers and mothers, its definitely the best to pray and think about it… and do all the sums you can, and TRUST THE LORD.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life.
Matthew 6:25-27

In closing, I want to urge you to check out some other SAHM’s blogs and learn from them, yes they are mostly in America, but one or two are South African. The basic principles remain the same, God called us to be workers at home.

Lindsay Edmonds – Passionate Homemaking
Stephanie Langford – Keeper of the Home
Taryn Hayes – Hayes Happenings
Rachel Boreing – Frugal and Simple
Sarah Mae – Like A Warm Cup Of Coffee

Check my blogroll for some more 🙂

Perfection Procrastination Priority Problem

1 Sep

WARNING: this is a big confession and soul bearing.

I have a confession to make… I am a closet perfectionist… I am also a very clear procrastinator… and this is a problem. I want my house to look like this:

but I keep putting off the important things… I use excuses, like I’m tired or I’ll do it tomorrow. But all in all I’m just a sinful procrastinator. As far as I can tell my heart is the problem, and this affects my priorities which causes the procrastination.

My home-keeping journal is full of lists and schedules that have yet to be properly implemented, I do a weekly menu plan which is more often than not forgotten by Tuesday. I plan to do laundry, only to lose the motivation when I see that we still have enough clothes,or the weather looks peaky. I begin to tidy up, but then get severely sidetracked by an idea, which needs to be checked out online, after which i find myself having spend 2 hours online and the house is still a mess. I get frustrated with things that lie around and that aren’t in their place but when I get around to picking them up I’m already half mad. And it goes on and on…

This post by Ann Voskamp and this one by Lindsay Edmonds made me think a lot about my homemaking problems. Even though they do not directly relate to my issue, they touched on very good points. I have learnt a lot from reading these ladies’ blogs, and one thing thats core to both their lives is the Lord, and spending time with Him. That is my core problem. Its the issue at the centre of my homemaking dilemma and my procrastination and my confused priorities.

I neglect to spend regular time with God.

There its out. Its something that I know is probably my biggest sin, and as I said the reason it feels like my life is totally disorganised,and I don’t get to doing things, or lack the motivation to do them. I don’t start my day with Him at my centre. I know in my heart and mind that if I did this, then my calling to be a stay at home wife and mom, would feel more satisfying, and my family would be more to me and I would work so much harder for them.

But I would also be able to do the things that truly matter… and forget about having the perfect house and the perfect food and the perfect kids. It would be enough to just be a godly home, with godly parents trying to raise godly kids, and do the best as God wills. As Ann says “I want seen things”, and that’s a heart problem and one based on a need for a deeper relationship with the Father. The unseen things like the prayers, the simple things, are worth more than the seen things. I need to spend time with the Creator to become content with the way things are and to be a godly wife and run my home like a Proverbs 31 women would.

“Contentment is being able to come to terms with where you are and what’s going on in your life, even if it’s not what you would have chosen for yourself. True contentment is not having everything you want, but learning to appreciate everything you have.”
Nancy Twigg

I am happy with the choice to stay at home, and be a mother and a wife. I just need to find my identity in Christ and not in how pretty and tidy my house is. Then I will be able to be a better mother and wife.

That’s my challenge to myself, and if you relate, please join me…

New Career…

24 Jul

I guess everyone must think I am a real butterfly, flitting from one job to the next. Well, I suppose I am, but I prefer to think of it as the gypsy in me… My new job starts on the 2nd of August. Its one that I have dreamed of for ages. Its the job many friends envy, and other call me crazy for desiring. Its the job of self-employed-make-up-artist/home-maker/soon-to-be-mama.

We have been so blessed this year, with Chris’s job, the pregnancy, the friends we have made, and people who have just given us soooo much awesome baby stuff. Its amazing how the Lord works in our lives each day.

I just wanted to share this with you, as it means I should have plenty more time to blog… well till December anyway…

Marriage and Women

18 Mar

The husband and I have been listening to Mark Driscoll’s (from Mars Hill Church in Seattle) talks this week. As per my post from last week, he’s a very effective and godly preacher, and I have found these talks very encouraging and helpful.

This one in particular has been very helpful, as a wife, on how to be submissive, and what exactly that means practically. I really recommend that all women listen to it, and take what they say to heart. It is tremendously encouraging to hear from a women’s perspective too, as Grace Driscoll answers questions in this talk.

Let me know if you found it helpful 🙂

For Christopher

10 Mar

Because I obviously love you too much.

New Years Resolutions 2010

1 Jan

* Figure out what God want me to do with my life
* Lose 19kgs
* Get active
* Try new things, like camping.
* Remember why I love the man I married, and why I married the man I love.
* See more of this beautiful country.
* Be more creative and crafty so that I can manage to stay sane at my job.
* Save money
* Trust the Lord instead of worrying
* Take the advice a very wise old man gave me over Christmas…